What I need to do..

If I don't push myself in life and to get up and run every day then I'm not going to get anywhere in my life or in running. I want to be able to do well so once I am over this flu I am going to go run every day, hard. No holding back.

Lately I'm into having heart to hearts with Travis Matthews (Tath's cousin) early in the morning - like 2-3-4 in the morning. He's really helping me with my mental health right now hah

We discussed running and my team tonight. This is the advice he gave me. 

"Just what ya got to do like ya said use these 2 weeks to your advantage and really train like your capable of.. like dont get down on yourself because you think youre slipping. just find the high school ally and get your heart back into it! And the other competitors are trying to get into your head because your doing so well and they want to sink you to their level."

He honestly just about made me break down into tears because he is so right. I just need to find everything that I loved about life when I was in high school and get back there asap. 

I'm making a personal goal for myself that I am only going to drink on Saturday night this weekend, maybe not even then. 

And I just want to feel good again.